So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
