He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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