I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
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Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
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All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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