MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
