Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
