i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
