How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I would ride that face into the sunset
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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