I showed him my bush... on skype.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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