Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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