She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
