sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There r osticjed everywhere
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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