Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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