We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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