i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
