Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
