dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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