I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize