so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
