Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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