i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
