yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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