When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
