the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize