He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
so much tequila, so little girl.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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