guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Randomize
