she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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