New low: just hacked my moms facebook
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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