Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i think i just lost a toe
You are a genius and a whore.
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