does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
