and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize