Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
