and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
