I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Randomize
