I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
