new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Please don't give away my fajitas
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
