We're facebook friends in real life
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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