My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
