I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I have tasted many bathrooms
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
