They should really pass out barf bags in church
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We are two peas in an std pod
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
