just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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