this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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