During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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