i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
