Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
