Buhtt sex?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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