He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
