i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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