Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
