its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
