remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
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there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
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found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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