she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
