WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
