It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i will never coherently bang her
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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