last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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