There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
