im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
