i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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