Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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