I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
