My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
