I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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