She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.