i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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