Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.

  (1-972): View more from Texas

  I want to be a cop.

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  (972): I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party. (1-972): I want to be a cop. http://tfl.nu/ucz6
  Replies (104) Good night (23954) Bad night (1019)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips

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  (630): I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips http://tfl.nu/376c
  Replies (7) Good night (5173) Bad night (861)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.

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  (215): i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history. http://tfl.nu/28mn
  Replies (12) Good night (2797) Bad night (1114)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.

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  (248): i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college. http://tfl.nu/wwi7
  Replies (29) Good night (1246) Bad night (4282)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night

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  (817): He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night http://tfl.nu/fv27
  Replies (25) Good night (934) Bad night (7311)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you

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  (631): if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you http://tfl.nu/ij50
  Replies (27) Good night (3418) Bad night (4180)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?

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  (330): Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling? http://tfl.nu/xujd
  Replies (7) Good night (4820) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.

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  (501): SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD. http://tfl.nu/21ls
  Replies (30) Good night (11944) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.

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  (573): I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it. http://tfl.nu/ikx5
  Replies (10) Good night (984) Bad night (3918)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle

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  (610): You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle http://tfl.nu/ha8a
  Replies (5) Good night (822) Bad night (1996)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.

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  (432): This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire. http://tfl.nu/8ui6
  Replies (10) Good night (2271) Bad night (1190)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  FUCK YOU MAN

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  (717): Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in? (1-717): FUCK YOU MAN http://tfl.nu/h049
  Replies (3) Good night (1687) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....

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  (318): Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going.... http://tfl.nu/9yl4
  Replies (7) Good night (617) Bad night (1609)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night

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  (614): your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night http://tfl.nu/piwn
  Replies (6) Good night (940) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.

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  (757): You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part. http://tfl.nu/w83y
  Replies (4) Good night (782) Bad night (360)

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