He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work