You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
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threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
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Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.