Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.