dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus