i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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